rec.woodworking's ANTI-FAQ
Revised 1 April, 2004
OUTLINE
1. GENERAL1.1 INTRODUCTION
1.2 POSTING GUIDELINES
1.3 OFF TOPIC POSTS
1.4 WHAT SHOULD I POST ABOUT?
1.5 CAN I POST PICTURES OF MY REALLY COOL PROJECT?
1.6 SHOULD I POST IF I AM A WOMAN?
1.7 WHAT IF I'M A GAY WOODWORKER?
1.8 WHAT SHOULD I DO WHEN I SEE A POST I DON'T LIKE?
1.9 WHAT SHOULD I DO ABOUT OFFENSIVE CROSS-POSTING TROLLS?
1.10 WHAT SHOULD I DO ABOUT SPELING AND GRAMMER MISSTEAKS?
1.11 WHAT SHOULD I DO ABOUT SPAM?
1.12 HOW DO I ADVERTISE MY REALLY NEAT WOODWORKING PRODUCT ON THE WRECK?
1.13 ARE HUMOROUS POSTS ALLOWED?
1.14 THERE ARE TOO MANY POSTS IN THIS GROUP, I HAVE A SUGGESTIONS ON HOW TO SPLIT IT.
1.15 INTERNET RESOURCES
1.16 RESOURCES FOR UK WOODWORKERS?
2.1 HOW DO I GET STARTED IN WOODWORKING?
2.2 SHOULD I BUY A TABLE SAW OR A RADIAL ARM SAW?
2.3 WHAT IS THE BEST TABLE SAW?
2.4 WHICH SAW BLADE SHOULD I BUY?
2.5 WHAT ARE THE BEST CLAMPS?
2.6 WHICH TYPE OF DADO BLADE SHOULD I BUY, THE DIAL (WOBBLE TYPE) OR THE STACKING (CHIPPER TYPE)?
2.7 WHAT IS THE BEST ROUTER?
2.8 WHAT IS THE BEST CORDLESS DRILL?
2.9 SHOULD I GET A DUST COLLECTOR?
2.10 HOW TO KEEP SPLINTERS AND MINUSCULE BITS OF WOOD OUT OF YOUR SOCKS?
3.1 HOW DO I ALIGN MY TABLESAW
3.2 HOW DO I FIX SLIPPING BITS IN MY SEARS ROUTER?
3.3 WHAT BASIC SHOP SAFETY PRECAUTIONS SHOULD I TAKE?
3.4 HOW DO I KEEP MY SAFETY GLASSES CLEAN?
3.5 WHY IS MY TAPE MEASURE INACCURATE?
3.6 HOW DO I PREVENT MY TOOLS FROM RUSTING?
3.7 HOW DO I REMOVE RUST FROM MY TOOLS?
3.8 WHAT SHOULD I DO ABOUT THE SCRATCH/STAIN ON MY BRAND NEW $2,000 BLURFL?
3.9 HOW DO I CLEAN MY SAW BLADES/ROUTER BITS?
4.1 WHAT IS THE BEST PLACE TO BUY TOOLS?
4.2 SHOULD I BUY A SEARS BLURFL?
4.3 WHY IS BOB VILA SUCH A JERK?
4.4 SHOULD I BUY A TAIWANESE CLONE BLURFL?
4.5 IS RIDGID (ALSO SPELLED RIGID, RIDGED, ETC.) ANY GOOD?
4.6 WHAT SHOULD I DO IF HD WON'T MATCH A PRICE?
4.7 WHAT SHOULD I DO WHEN THE TRUCKDRIVER REFUSES TO UNLOAD AND SET UP MY NEW 2000LB MAIL ORDER BLURFL?
4.8 WHERE CAN I GET INFORMATION ABOUT PARTICLE BOARD AND MDF?
4.9 CAN I USE THE WOOD FROM PALLETS?
4.10 WHAT IS THE BEST PLACE TO GET HARDWOOD?
5.1 HOW DO I WIRE MY SHOP?
5.2 SHOULD I WIRE MY SAW FOR 240?
5.3 SHOULD I USE PVC FOR MY COMPRESSED AIR LINES?
6.1 WHERE CAN I FIND FREE PLANS?
6.2 WHERE CAN I GET PLANS FOR THE NEW YANKEE WORKSHOP PROJECTS?
6.3 WHAT BOOKS SHOULD I PURCHASE TO LEARN ABOUT VARIOUS ASPECTS OF WOODWORKING?
6.4 WHAT IS THE BEST WOODWORKING MAGAZINE?
6.5 CAN I REPOST A NEAT ARTICLE/PLAN I FOUND ELSEWHERE?
6.6 WHERE DO I FIND PLANS FOR A COFFIN?
6.7 WHERE DO I GET PLAN FOR BAT HOUSES?
7.1 HOW DO I CUT DOVETAILS?
7.2 I THINK NORM COULD HAVE DONE SOMETHING IN A BETTER WAY ...
7.3 HOW DO I MAKE A PUSH STICK?
7.4 WHAT SIZE DRILL BIT DO I USE FOR A WOOD SCREW?
7.5 SHOULD I USE A HOT MELT GLUE GUN FOR MY NEXT PROJECT?
7.6 WHAT IS THE CORRECT WAY TO HANDLE THE GLUE SQUEEZE OUT PROBLEM?
7.7 WHAT IS SNIPE AND HOW DO I ELIMINATE IT?
7.8 WHICH ARE BETTER: ENGLISH/IMPERIAL/SAE MEASUREMENTS OR METRIC/SI?
7.9 WHY ARE SCREW COUNTERSINKS AT 82 DEGREES?
7.10 WHAT IS RESAWING?
7.11 SHOULD I USE ROUND OR SQUARE DOGS IN MY WORKBENCH?
7.12 SHOULD I JOIN THE HANDYMAN CLUB OF AMERICA?
7.13 WHY WON'T SWMBO LET ME BUILD THAT PIECE OF FURNITURE INSTEAD OF BUYING A TERMITE PUKE POS?
8.1 HOW DO I REMOVE PAINT ON AN ANTIQUE?
8.2 HOW DO I GET RID OF CAT URINE STAINS?
8.3 HOW DO I MAKE A TACK CLOTH?
8.4 WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN TUNG OIL AND LINSEED OIL?
8.5 HOW DO I FINISH TOYS?
8.6 WHAT IS THE BEST FINISH FOR A CUTTING BOARD?
8.7 HOW DO I FINISH CHERRY?
8.8 WHAT IS THE BEST FINISH FOR A WOODEN LAWN ORNAMENT?
8.9 HOW DO I FINISH THE EDGE OF PLYWOOD?
9.1 WHAT DOES 4/4 MEAN?
9.2 WHAT IS A BOARD FOOT?
9.3 WHAT ARE SOME OF THE COMMON WOODWORKING TERMS/ABBREVIATIONS?
9.4 WHAT IS SWMBO?
9.5 WHAT IS A NEANDERTHAL?
9.6 IS THIS A GLOAT?
9.7 WHAT IS GOOGLE?
9.8 WHAT IS A TROLL?
This is the rec.woodworking anti-FAQ. This anti-FAQ will be posted annually to rec.woodworking on the first of April. The purpose of this anti-FAQ is to minimize the amount of chatter about wood working on rec.woodworking, thereby making the newsgroup more lively and interesting to read.
Suggestions for improvement should be kept to yourself. To be perfectly honest, I don't give a flying fig about your opinions. If I want to know what you think, I'll ask you. Just don't hold your breath.
I realize that putting FAQ in a header ensures that almost nobody will read it, but I'm doing this for my own satisfaction.
While this newsgroup has world-wide distribution, the vast majority of subscribers live in free countries, so they can say whatever they please, USENET conventions be damned. Don't bother with reading "news.answers" or "news.announce.newusers," or any of those other newsgroups designed to explain USENET's "rules."
"Me-too" posts are particularly appreciated. An example of a "me-too" is when you quote 50 lines of text, adding only a line or two of your own. If your .sig is longer than your comments, then you're probably doing it right. (Another reason to have a long .sig. Big .sigs are really, really cool.)
Make sure you post in HTML if your browser allows you to. This makes your posts much more cool, with bold, colour (color, Keith) and other cutesy gizmos like cool animated GIFs. Don't let the fact that some obsolete news browsers make your posts look like gibberish deter you. Those people should apply a crowbar to their wallet get themselves a new computer and some up to date software.
POSTING ALL IN CAPITALS IS GENERALLY APPRECIATED AS IT MAKES THINGS EASIER TO READ, AND ALSO ENSURES THAT PEOPLE PAY ATTENTION TO WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY!
If you're responding to a post by someone who's got a French name but can't spell it, make sure that you both post in the group and send him an email. He will really appreciate it. While you're at it, you might as well turn-on the HTML, write in capitals and send him a big attachment with a picture. And spell his name right. But only do this if you want to stay on his good side.
Finally, the subject line of your article should have nothing at all to do with what you actually say. This makes the newsgroup much more lively and interesting to read.
Off-topic posts are welcome and the usually provide the most interesting discussions and flame wars. Don't bother with putting in "OT" in the subject header. If it wasn't for off topic posts and people not reading the FAQ, this newsgroup would die.
Political and religious rants are especially welcome at any time. They are extremely popular, even more popular than electrical threads. They allow those who know nothing about woodworking or anything else to contribute to the group by displaying their ignorance, bigotry and fanaticism for the whole world to see.
Those damn top posters and bottom posters; mindless commie pinko liberal lemmings and neo-nazi conservative warmongers; inconsiderate, anti-religious pseudo-intellectual atheists and gullible, credulous fundamentalist nuts and fruitcakes; murderous gun-nuts and gun control freaks; eco-nazis and unconscionable despoilers of the environment; and knuckle-dragging, club-toting, need-finishing-school, poetic-waxing, holier-than-thou, in-your-face, proselytising Neanderthals and power-tooling, noise-making, wood-munching, dust-sucking, tool-belt-wearing, Normites; deserve to read your well-reasoned jeremiad so that they will change their minds and see things your way. Make sure you add some personal insults and ad hominem attacks in your post.
If you get a blank response from somebody with a Delta tool handle, it means that YOU HAVE WON the argument!! Those opposed to you have been rendered speechless. You may now rest on your laurels, as everyone in the group has conceded to you and agrees with your inanity, sorry, I meant your well-reasoned views. No need to post to that thread anymore.
Anything and everything. Don't worry, sharing the minute details of all your woodworking experiences is what the wRECk is all about so that we can all learn. Michael Baglio provided a good example of the kind of post that is well appreciated on the wreck. Here it goes.
Had a similar experience I need to share. About a week ago, I was framing up the north wall of the workshop and when I was hammering in the top plate I missed the nail and almost hit my thumb! As I was using a 28oz Estwing at the time, you can imagine the shivers I got as I saw a dent in the 2X4 and realized how much damage I could have done!! Yessiree, being careful is the name of this tune!!!
How could that have happened you ask? Well the theories are many, but I really believe I probably swung wide of the nail. It could have been a momentary attention lapse on my part, or it could have been a shift in the wind direction, causing just enough refraction in my swing that the hammer head missed the nail. Did I mention it was an Estwing? Got it at Lowe's several years ago for about $29. Been a great hammer. Had to give up that Stanley I was using, it just couldn't take the abuse, and besides it vibrated. I called Stanley about it, but they said it was "supposed" to vibrate. Yeah right! I didn't believe them for a minute, but no matter how many times I called customer service they inSISted hammers vibrate. Well, that did it. I went out and bought an Estwing. I knew that since they were lots of money they had to be good, and boy I've never looked back. Sure, it vibrates, too, but it's a MAZing how much better 29 dollar vibrations feel than cheapie Stanley vibrations do. So, good vibration's the name of this tune.
Anyway when I missed the nail I put a really big dent in the top plate. I hope I didn't impringe the integrity of the top 2X4, does anybody here know if I have to replace the top 2X4? Will I have to replace them all??? I hope not. I may have to call Canfor and complain about how easy their 2X4's dent. I don't think I should have to put up with inferior wood. I think maybe it wasn't the wood's fault though. It was probably the hammer. I need a better one. Do they make them more than $29? Do they make 2X4s that don't dent? Maybe oak or ash or do they make nails with bigger heads so they still get hit when the wind blows (?) with a more money hammer? Really want to know. Only want the best. Does anyone here have any REAL exprerience with this and not just your unbromided opinions?
So, after I calmed down from that near fatal hammerheadmissthenailthing, I hammered another nail close to where the first one was because the first nail jumped OUT of the hole it was started in. It fell IN the dirt! I had to use another nail! It was okay though because I had another one. WHEW, that(!) was lucky. I'm wondering though, can anyone here tell me if I should make sure to plug that first hole? I'm sure you can understand how important it is that the sturtctural integity not be imfamized in the construction here. Strentgth is the name of this tune. So, if ANYbody knows, let me know. Oh, I almost forgot. I nailed the second one in about 3/8ths of an inch away from where the first one ((would have) gone if it had gone(!)) but it didn't. So does that make a difference? It probably doesn't but maybe does. Does ANYONE know? I want to make sure that it's strong and stuff. What kind of filler do you use? I could make a dowel the exact size of the nail shaft part thing with some vernereal calipers I got from Lee at Robin Valley, but I'm not sure there accurate enough. Okay. Cool. I just ordered the next size up! They have GREAT customer service. They were way more money but it's important because quality is the name of this time. I wonder why they don't sell Estwings. Maybe they do! Does anyone know? Should I glue the dowel into the hole? I'm pretty concerned about wood movement, wood being natural and stuff. I think I'll just glue the top part that goes in the top part and let the rest float. I read about float, does anyone know? Is regular glue OK? How about Gorilla glue? I'll need gloves for that though right? OK! Cool. I just ordered up a case of gloves. I know 144 gloves is a lot, but money's no object is the name of this tune and I MIGHT, (I say might, not definetly but might miss), a NAIL like I did last week. I'll need more gloves if I do, so I have them now. At least I will. Does anyone know the number for the tracking thing for FEdEX? I had them shipped overnight because prompt is the name of this time. I set my Estwing down and it's dark now and I can't find it. Does anyone know where it is?
Got any really cool pictures? Post them to rec.woodworking. Who gives a f... about those turkeys who have to download everything and pay their ISP by the minute? They should take a Crowbar to their wallet and get some decent equipment and a better ISP. Anyway, if they live in country with a crappy communication system, they can move to the good ole USA and get WebTV.
Only Strines and other losers post pictures of their tacky projects to ABPF & ABPW.
The pictures don't have to be of Adirondack chairs, furniture or other woodworking projects. In fact, if you've got any pictures of your wife or girlfriend or cheerleaders in the nude, please post them. If you don't have any such pictures, just let me know, and I'll sell you some.
If somebody flames you for posting pictures, flame 'em right back and go start your own newsgroup. But don't post the URL or newsgroup name so that those assholes who flamed you can't come to hassle you in your new newsgroup.
The internet and woodworking are male things. They both are about boys playing with their tools. If you don't believe me, why do you think there are so many porno sites and newsgroups? So, girls, butt out!
We don't like other men playing with our tools either. Woodworking is for real men. Butt out or you'll get bashed.
First, and most importantly, you should take offence. Obviously the author is an insensitive bastard who is hell-bent on hurting your feelings. He is an arrogant asshole who deserves much worse than he will ever receive. Others may tell you that the guy was "just having a bad day," or that he "didn't mean anything by it," but don't you believe it. Remain steadfast and do not waver in your efforts to get even with the idiot.
Rant and rave, but be sure to do so publicly, by posting to the group rather than by sending e-mail. Otherwise, how will anyone else know what a jerk the other guy is? Don't hold back, and don't let up until you receive satisfaction, or until the thread has reached 100 articles in length, whichever comes first. Telling someone how stupid they are is called a "flame." If you read a flame, please respond to it, even if you have no interest whatsoever in the issue at hand. This makes the newsgroup much more lively and interesting to read.
If you find yourself in the middle of a flame war and attacked from all sides with nobody supporting you, just give yourself some support. It's easy. Just change the email address in your newsreading software and write a bunch of posts under assumed names. Nobody will notice and it will give added credibility to your position.
By all means, reply to them telling the poster what an asshole he is. Make sure that your reply is also cross-posted to all the newsgroups and add a few more just for good measure. How else are going to make them go away if we don't tell them what jerks they are? Publicly plonking them is especially effective. Reporting them does no good, since they can get a new free email address pretty easily. Might as well let them continue to use the same address as it makes no difference. How else are we going to learn about the sexual habits of wreck regulars?
If you see a spelling mistake, grammatical error, or typo, post a reply with the offending error underlined with carets (circumflex accents to those who studied French, the thingie above the "6" key for the rest of you ignorami). Make sure you question the original poster's intelligence and woodworking ability in your post. If he/she can't spell, can he/she be trusted with a table saw or a plane without spilling blood all over the place? This is the only helpful way to deal with errors in grammar and spelling and educating the original poster, while avoiding the shedding of blood.
BTW the correct spelling accepted in rec.woodworking for some words are: joiner, planner, scrapper, rabbit, tennon (tendon is definitely wrong), hobbiest, course (not fine), bisket, popular (Liriodendron tulipifera), cyprus (Taxodium distichum), wracking, tounge & grove (tongue is a finishing oil), radio alarm saw (tmLJ).
If you see a piece of SPAM, then by all means quote the entire message, adding a clever comment of your own. You see, there are lots of folks who don't like SPAM, and they've come up with things like filters and cancelbots in an effort to get rid of it. While a particular piece of SPAM may show up on your news server, there's a very good chance that many folks won't get to see it. Posting a follow-up article to the SPAM will keep it alive, ensuring *everybody* gets to look at it. This makes the newsgroup much more lively and interesting to read.
If you're a dealer and you're in with the secret cabal crowd, just post the stuff you have for sale. No one will flame you. You're even allowed to flame others who post ads. Don't ask me how to get into the cabal, it's top secret. It's so secret, I don't even know whether I'm in it or not. Besides, there is no cabal.
If you're not in the secret cabal (TINC), first, think up of all the titles or subject headers that are even marginally relevant to your product. Then flood the newsgroup with posts advertising your product under each header. Also get a bunch of buddies and employees with email, and sign-up for a whole lot of free email addresses on the net (hotmail, yahoo, aol with a fake credit card number, etc.). Use the email addresses to send a whole batch of different testimonials for your product, like how your grandfather, the old cabinet maker, really loved it and used it every day since 1939, and that's why your father was conceived. Try to vary your spelling mistakes in the shills so that it is not so obvious you wrote them all.
Second buy a spambot (If you have an email address and have given it to anyone, you should already have had a few offers on spambots. If not, post here using your real email address and just wait a couple of days.) Use it to send a private personalized email to everybody who has ever posted on this or any other newsgroup. This should also get you a good response. However, get a new different email address from which to send these, and yet a different reply address. Otherwise, your company's regular email address might get cancelled.
If anybody complains, flame them. No one person makes the rules or owns this place so you can just tell em to piss off. Whiners don't know their ass from their elbow anyway. They're just a bunch of pinko commie socialist limp-wristed liberals who are against the free enterprise system that made America great, or secret agents for the secret timber cutting cartel who are destroying our forests. Tell'em to go back to Russia. The other people in the group will really like your ads and will flock to your product and make you a millionaire in no time. That's what free enterprise and internet marketing are all about.
Besides, think of all the trees you save by using the internet rather than paper ads. Ecologically sound capitalism! And more trees for woodworking! Who cares if everybody else is paying for your advertising? That's life buddy!
Finally, privately offer a free lifetime supply of your product to anybody who has written a FAQ for this group to make sure they give you good reviews. My email address is recnorm at yukonomics dot ca. Send me an email and I'll give you my shipping address. (Hint, hint Steve & Ed & Ron & Pat & Robin & Jim)
Absolutely. Humour (humor, Keeter, although we know you're not funny anymore) is greatly appreciated in rec.woodworking, especially satire, sarcasm and irony. Don't worry, people in this newsgroup always get it when you are trying to be funny or ironic.
You could also use a disclaimer (See Disclaimer FAQ) to make sure people get it, but that sort of spoils it and, anyway, it used to be only a certain individual who pretended not to get the posts from another certain individual and vice versa and they ended up in highly entertaining and articulate flame war, with exegesis and logic chopping that rivalled the best that mediaeval scholastics or talmudic scholars came up with.
However, trolls are generally frowned upon. Taking advantage of newbies' and oldbies' innocence about things liked armed Canadian EPA agents and church pews is a serious sign of bad form. Did you get that David, eh? Trolls feed very well on the wreck.
Also any joke about 9/11 is NOT FUNNY and completely unacceptable!! Racial, ethnic, religious and dead baby jokes are OK, though.
The people on wreck.wood are always open to suggestions on how to improve the group and we have been looking for ways to split this group for many years now. As a newbie, you will bring a different perspective which will be most appreciated. We will listen to your suggestions on splitting the group and implement them immediately.
This is the way to get all the URL's you'll ever need and avoid testy answers. Don't bother with search engines.
First create a web page. Make sure it has "old iron" or "antique woodworking machine" on it. Then get your page to set a cookie every time someone from the "wi.rr.com" domain accesses your page. Then go into the Duke's computer and steal all the URLs. Careful, though, the Duke has been known to try selling pornographic table saws on eBay. If you don't know how to do this, get a hacker to help you. A hacker is any 10-20 year-old male who has a computer and is not into sports and doesn't have a girlfriend.
You also want to take a look at these other FAQs, which might not be in the Duke's computer:
Disclaimer FAQ
http://groups.google.com/groups?hl=en&selm=6i6596%24ifl%241%40ins8.netins.net
Hand Plane FAQ
http://groups.google.com/groups?selm=6imd60%24qq6%241%40ins8.netins.net
Crowbar FAQ
http://www.klownhammer.org/crowbar
For woodworking books, go to:
http://webpages.charter.net/29Y/woodworking/books/
This newsgroup is about USA woodworking and maybe its northern sycophantic satellite. God Bless America! It's rec.WOODworking, not rec.TIMBERworking! You guys went downhill when you joined up with the other Euro-idiots and went with that inane metric system. Serves you right you gotta pay double for the tools we get for real cheap in the good ole USA. Anyways, who wants to get buzzed with a 240-volt piece of euro junk? Buy American! Besides, what kind of woodworking can you do without Home Despot?
Same goes for drunken Ozzies (as if there were any other kind, I know it's redundant), and inny othirs who walk upside down. Sheesh, butchering all that nice jarrah, silky oak & jummywood with those pot metal Triton POS.
Message for Strines: This newsgroup uses the Queen's English (or at least the bastardised seppo version). If you want to post in your weird lingo, m8, go create your own newsgroup, m8. PS: I don't care if you get pissed off that I stuck you with the whingeing poms, y'all sound alike anyhoo.
If you have less than $20,000 to spend, forget it. You can't make anything, not even pukey ducks, without at least that much invested in tools. You need to watch Norm and buy all the same tools he has. You also need to build a workshop: 60'X100' is about the minimum size for a newbie. Anything less won't get you anywhere. Always buy the best and most expensive tools: buy the best and only cry once. Anything cheaper than a Northfield, Altendorf or Felder is a waste of money.
As Ed pointed out, the tools that any shop must have as an absolute minimum are:
Unisaw
Cast iron 15" planer
8" jointer
36" belt sander
18" Laguna bandsaw
16" floor drill press
5HP IR compressor
If you cannot afford the above, take up macramé.
Don't bother with used tools, only buy new. Otherwise you're just buying someone else's problems. Besides, where would bottomfeeders like me get their good tools if it wasn't for newbies giving up on woodworking and selling off their expensive new tools at bargain basement prices?
If you can't afford the best, don't buy it. There's lots of different ways to do any woodworking operation. If you can't afford a dedicated tenoner or a Unisaur with a tenoning jig, you can use your teeth to cut tenons. A well-honed scary-sharpened pinkie nail can replace a top-of-the-line Multico mortiser or a Sorby or Knight mortising chisel. You can do period reproductions with broken pieces of glass and a spoon; it just takes you a bit longer.
Even if you want to go Neander, nothing but the full collection of Lie-Neilson, Clifton, Knight and Veritas planes will do. If you can't afford them, you need to revise your spending priorities.
Buy a band saw instead. The cut wanders all over the place and they leave nifty decorative ridge lines. Then you'll get the chance to spend hours and hours hand planing the ridge lines and straightening and squaring the butchered wood with antique hand planes. (See Hand Plane FAQ)
Speaking of butchering, the purchase of a bandsaw can more easily be justified to your spouse because it is absolutely indispensable in cutting frozen food.
You can also use band saws to cut thick stuff in half, such as yourself, other people, frozen bread and chickens, dead cats, and Ming vases, none of which can be handled by a TS or RAS. The most a TS or RAS can cut is little more than the thickness of a hand.
No question: Sears. Bennett accurately described how great Sears table saws are and about all their special features. They're even better than the Inca, General, Powermatic or Delta cabinet saws. After all, he wrote the table saw FAQ, so he should know. Not only do Sears table saws sort of cut wood and body parts, but they also can be used to achieve special colouring (coloring, Unisaw) and dye effects that would otherwise require hours of painstaking finishing work. Among the special features discovered by Bennett, which Sears does not advertise, is the "pulse temperature alteration" process which turn maple into walnut and instantly ages cherry to a patina that normally takes decades to achieve. It also enhances the grain pattern of dull woods by having the aluminium (aluminum, Keeter) top add attractive black streaks to your wood, turning it into zebrawood without the aggravating unworkability or price of the real thing.
The new Ridgid saws at the Borg apparently have the same features.
Here is a recent series of highly informative posts on this very topic:
>>> Poor innocent Pid asked:
>>> Delta or Griz...which makes a better Table saw?
>>Silvan wrote:
>>The [Delta/Grizzly] [model] is *much* better than the
>>[Delta/Grizzly] [model] which is a piece of crap.
>>[Delta/Grizzly] is *much* *much* *much* better 90% of the time
>>than [Delta/Grizzly] so you should > always prefer
>>[Delta/Grizzly] over [Delta/Grizzly] whenever you have
>>a choice.
>"Mike Marlow" wrote:
>Oh Bull! You're just a [Delta/Grizzly] bigot and cannot see
>that [Delta/Grizzly] is really a far superior saw. Go ahead
>- keep you eyes closed to the facts. One day you'll wake up
>and get a real saw - a [Delta/Grizzly].
"Edwin Pawlowski" wrote Why don't you guys knock off the petty bickering. Real men use [Delta/Grizzly/Jet] table saws.
This was followed by a bevy of bad puns. The authors should be drawn, quartered and hung.
Paul in MN started it:
>I thought that all the saws cut quick as a Jet, but when used
>in high humidity, say down by the Delta, they leave a bit of
>a Grizzly finish...... in General.
To which Mike Marlow had to add his two cents:
>That's where it takes a real Craftsman to get the job done.
Jo4hn could not resist:
>This gives me a Harbor Fright.
Meanwhile, back on another fork, Silvan uttered:
>That post gives me the Craps man. Somebody ought to Bosch you
>in the head for having such a Rigid attitude. Why, I'll bet you
>don't have any Skil as a wood dorker at all, and if you had
>to dork wood for a living, you'd DeWalt on your mortgage.
And Paul in MN replied:
>Maybe I could make a living at it. I think I'd be a Starrett
>that game.
Aaaargh!
Any one will do. Don't spend too much. Freud and Forrest are rip-offs.
Like Larry says, get 'em from Harbor Freight, don't pay the big bucks. Besseys are a ripoff made out of plastic crap while the Jorgensens can't be opened after they're slammed shut, even when your finger is stuck in them.
Get both! But don't spend too much on them. Avoid Freud, Forrest, Amana, Jesada. These guys are out to rip you off. You can also use two or more saw blades with spacers. Who cares if the bottom isn't flat, nobody sees it anyway.
For the money, buy a Crapsman. It has a nifty light that allows you to see the Automatic Random Height Adjustment in action. [f]Art. will tell you how great they are. Besides, as Jeremy pointed out, the PC 69x's are way too heavy to use.
Stanley. It has a neat ratchet mechanism that allows you use a back and forth motion rather than just circular. Works all day on just two charges (breakfast and lunch). Quiet. Any of the German-made eggbeaters are also pretty good for small holes. For screwing it's Yankee, despite all the Southrons' delusions of adequacy in this sphere.
I am one. You should see my extremely valuable collection of dust. It is nicely layered on my workshop floor and you can explore the geology of my woodworking by carefully digging into it and examining the different layers. Sears tools also work well as dust collectors. Oh, you mean those big noisy suckers? Here's what Paul Jordan had to say about them.
They can be very helpful when hooked to machines that might create dust. The bag will blow off at least once, most assuredly just after you clean the rags from that last coat of finish on that critical project that *used* to be a safe distance away;
They are better than dust creators, although some can be switched into this mode with one careless move (this is a scream to watch, if it happens to someone else);
Putting the strap around the bag will make you realize Lucy and Ethel were not such klutzes after all;
Your bags will reach full capacity *just* before you plane that last 8 footer, meaning you will surely have to dump sawdust on the floor just to get the damnbagoff. Then you get to re-collect the dust you've already collected once, making it a collected dust collector;
They operate on very similar principles to a James Bond martini - shaken, not stirred;
After purchasing one you will realize where the McDonnell Douglas DC-10 engines go when they fail QC audit;
When you suck up a 1" piece of ash hurtling towards the fan, your neighbours (neighbors, Keith) will instantly know whether you are a combat veteran and whether you feel there is any decent cover in their front yard;
They do not mix well with small, furry, free-to-roam pets;
While running, they are particularly good at making sure any intrusion into your shop will scare the bejeezus out of you as you catch the perpetrator wildly waving their arms, or god forbid touching you, to get your attention.
Man, you must be new. Efficient dust collection is soooo important. Do a Google search for "Downdraft floors."
Basically, you drill a 1/2" hole every 4 to 6 inches in your floor and hook up a Trane commercial HVAC blower to some duct work that connects to a "dust pan" that you build under your floor, sized to your shop. Seal the perimeter well, and oh, do be careful to avoid drilling through the floor joists. DAMHIKT. Bob's yer uncle, no more dust in yer Keds.
Concrete floors? No problem. Google for "Updraft roofs." Same principle, with the added bonus of fuller, bouncier, body in your hair.
You first need to find the null axis of the warp or centroid of the cycloid of rotation. Note that the cycloid is adibiatic or asymptotically free. Be careful not to introduce a modulus of coefficients of dynamic dependant variables. Shag carpet works best 'cause it minimizes the saggita on your straightedge. You can use interference fringes or an auto-collimator. This will allow you to adjust your table saw to make cuts accurate to a gazillionth of an inch.
Or you can use a dial indicator on a stick that fits in your mitre (miter, Floyd) gauge (gage, Keeter) slot.
This is Steve Wallace's method, which I've used successfully. Obtain a 1/4" eyescrew about 2 inches long. Tighten it in the chuck very tightly. This is assembly A. Mix one bag of concrete mix with enough water to obtain a consistency like peanut butter. Place assembly A in the box that your new PC 690 came in, with the eye screw sticking out of the box. Fill the box, with assembly A inside, to the rim with the concrete that you mixed previously. Allow the concrete to set at least 8 hours. Attach several feet of chain to the eyescrew. Tie a 50 foot rope to the chain. To use, tie the loose end of the rope to your boat. Chuck it over the side when you get to you favourite (favorite, Keefer) fishin' area.
Ernie Jurick offered the following sensible advice:
After reading all the hazard and safety information that comes with power tools these days, I've decided that the safest approach is to not even plug them in. Most of them I leave in the box. Right now my table saw is a dandy coffee table.
Also, to be on the safe side, I've ground the sharp edges off all planes, chisels and saws. My hammers are attached to the workbench with lengths of chain (plastic) to prevent them from being raised more than 6", thereby minimizing impacts from missed blows. Not that I would ever use nails, the lethal pointy little devils!
To prevent vision damage I keep my eyes closed whenever I'm in the shop, and to protect my lungs I never inhale. Needless to say there's no electricity. The only wood I use is balsa, which I can shape with my fingernails and teeth. I also wear an aluminium foil beanie with full frontal- and temporal-lobe brain protection in case the Voices tell me to do bad things with pliers.
You don't really need safety glasses, they are a real pain, fogging up and getting full of sawdust so you can't see through them. Might as well be blind, so why bother. Just close your eyes before anything hits them.
If you still insist on wearing glasses, the real problem is static electricity keeping the dust on. This is a very dangerous condition. Not only does the dust make you unable to see through the glasses, but the static electricity might build up enough to arc and create sparks which ignite the sawdust in the air and blow your face off and your workshop to smithereens. This actually happens a lot, just like with PVC pipe in dust collection systems. So you need to ground safety glasses by wrapping them with lots of copper wire and plug in the wire into a wall outlet. Don't forget to run the ground wire inside _and_ outside! Metal glasses also work.
On most tape measures, the rivets attaching the hook to the tape always seem to come loose. You'd figure someone like Starrett would find a fix to this. You need to lay your tape on the vice (vise, Keeter) and smack the rivets with a ball peen hammer or a punch, after pushing the tip back in. And while you're at it take a close look at the 1/2 dozen or so other tapes you've got laying around the house & shop.
Buy aluminium (Yes Jon, that is the correct spelling!) tools, you fool! Aluminium table saws don't rust. Plus aluminium tools are usually cheaper. If you're a rich yuppie bastard ETS, you could also buy brass or bronze hand-tools.
If you haven't listened to #3.6, a belt sander (sandre, David) with a coarse grit (60 or 80) will work just fine. It also is useful for bringing antique tools back to their pristine original condition. Angle grinders (grindres, Jeff) might work better on curved surfaces.
Most of us will understand your total state of despair. Any scratch will make the machine completely useless for its intended purpose. Your best bet is to drop a few hundred on getting it reground at a machine shop. That is the only way to get that jointer/tablesaw top back to its pristine condition. After that you might want to polish it up with pumice and green compound & jeweller's rouge so that you can see yourself in it. Just like chisels or plane blades, it won't work properly if you don't.
You should learn from your mistake and keep your machines covered at all times, except when you are showing off your shop to your buddies or relatives, or taking pictures for your web site. Do not ever, I repeat, not ever, use the machines. Like famous artwork, Gucci shoes or Rolex watches, expensive woodworking machines are there only to impress others: the reality is that nobody on this group ever uses them. People who actually use tools buy Sears.
Muriatic acid. If it works on concrete it'll work on anything, including stubborn resin. Just make sure to pour the acid in the water. (or is it the other way round?) Besides, it's pretty safe and natural as your stomach makes it all the time.
Trendlines or Harbor Freight. Sears is also pretty good, with high quality, durable tools. For Canadians, it's Crappy Tire. The other places are a rip-off. You could also join the Handyman Club of America and get a whole bunch of free tools for testing. But this is supposed to be secret, so don't tell anyone you heard it here.
Sears Crapsman are fine tools for beginning and advanced woodworkers. If you don't believe me ask [f]Art.. He has been busy researching Craftsman history and found that Craftsman power tools actually are significantly better than those of 20 years ago. They give your stuff the real imperfect "hand-crafted" look. Make sure you also get a Sears belt sander to fix your mistakes.
Bob Z. responded to questions from a newbie about the Craftsman bashing issue.
Q. I've noticed that CRAFTSMAN (Sears) woodworking tools like tablesaws, radial arm saws, band saws, etc., seem to get dumped on. Why?
>The answer is simple: this forum is a bunch of mean spirited drooling idiots.
Q. Are they really that bad?
>No. Craftsman tools are excellent! These morons just can't afford Craftsman quality, so they have to bash Craftsman. Don't listen to these pathetic losers.
Q. What do the experts consider to be the "best" or "top of the line" brands when it comes to woodworking tools.
>Craftsman!!! How can there be any doubt???!!! Don't listen to these fools!!!
Sears also makes incredibly efficient motors. For the same size and weight and electrical current draw, their motors have much more power than the competition. Who else but Sears can defy the laws of physics and make a 3 horsepower motor that only draws 13 Amps at 120 Volts?
Maybe the screaming coming from a universal motor is the sound of that unaccounted for power being sucked through the interdimensional vortex?
The Bobster is not a jerk. It's not his fault he knows everything and other people don't. Evidence of this is that he was responsible for bringing Norm to PBS. The fact that he shills the wonderful Sears tool is even more evidence of his great insight.
Sure, they're cheaper. You can save a lot of money. But don't spend the big bucks on Grizzly & especially Jet. They are overpriced. They're all made in the same factory anyway.
The best!!! Ask any plumber. Oh, you mean the new woodworking stuff at the Borg. The Rigid tools at HD are actually like a cross between Jet and Delta. The Borg was getting tired of matching prices with everybody on Delta tools, so they got the producer of the great Sears stationary tools, Emerson Electric, to develop a new line for them that's even better and cheaper than Sears, Delta, Powermatic, Jet, General, Felder, Inca, Altendorf, all put together.
The Borg has a very clear policy of matching competitors' prices and taking 10% off. It is very important for all of us to make sure that Home Despot follows its policy. How else are we going to help the Borg eliminate all its competitors? A HD monopoly would make life much easier for us woodworkers. It would eliminate the agonizing choices about what to buy and who to buy from we have to make every time we need a tool or some wood. We would save a lot of time wasted shopping around when we could be working in the shop. It would also end up saving a lot of bandwidth on rec.norm and avert the need to split the group. So if you're having a problem in any store, threaten to call Linda or Joan or Lisa at the HD headquarters (actually, any female name will work).
Truck drivers should be required to break their backs because you ordered from a mail-order company or Amazon to get a price break and not from your local dealer. To hell with OSHA and all other stupid government regulations and union rules. It's a real ripoff when you pay $25.00 for shipping 1000 pounds across the continent and then have to pay a whole bunch more to get it unloaded at your house. Lift gates should be compulsory on all semi trailers, to force the freight companies to deal fairly with their hobbyist woodworking customers, who are the largest part of their business. Do they think everybody has a loading dock in their workshop? It's obviously not the mail order company since they always make sure they get the best, fastest, and most expensive shipping methods and always specify FAS delivery.
One word - Home Despot. The helpful staff at Home Depot know everything there is to know about wood and woodworking. They are all qualified tradespeople who took a massive pay cut just so they could be helpful to rank amateurs.
Used pallets are a very easy way of getting free good hardwood. You can save a lot of money by disassembling pallets. Pallets need to be strong so they are made of the best quality clear, dry and straight-grained hardwood, even better than what you can get at the Borg. You might even get some expensive tropical hardwoods on pallets from Southeast Asia or Japan. Plus reusing pallets saves trees to hug for the eco-freaks among us.
You should have no problem taking the pallets apart, since most pallet manufacturers have thoughtfully made them easy to disassemble. Crowbars to your wallet or tactical nuclear weapons work best. (See Crowbar FAQ)
Don't worry about nails. Nails are made from soft steel. The steel in your planer and jointer are harder than nails, and so is the carbide on your blades. (So is the steel in any decent hand plane, for the Neander types.)
If you're too lazy to take pallets apart go to eBay. You can get incredible hardwoods for really cheap, all precut in the sizes you need for actual projects. Don't worry about getting into a bidding war, the stuff for sale there is worth a lot more than anyone has ever bid on it. The pictures don't do it justice. The Borg is also pretty good, and you'll save on planing and jointing. Local lumberyards and sawmills specializing in hardwoods are a rip-off.
As my friend Doug, the journeyman cabinetmaker, says: there's only four things you gotta know about being an electrician:
S--- flows downhill, Payday is on Friday, It may be s--- to you but its bread and butter to them, and Every asshole is a potential customer.
Oops! That was about plumbers. Forget it. Anyway, Doug is just jealous of plumbers 'cause they make more money than cabinetmakers, just like Tom.
Actually, all the regulars and most of the newbies on the wreck are electrical experts. That's why any thread on wiring and electricity gets so many responses. Most of us work with electricity all the time. After all computers and power tools are electrical, and so's the TV we watch Norm on. If you want to change the plug on your tablesaw, you still need to know everything about wiring and amps and volts and watts and volt-amps and wire gauges and phases and power factors and impedance and resistance and plug configurations and panel sizes and capacitors and motors and switches and electrical codes.
But that's OK, don't be afraid. You can trust any wiring and electrical advice from anybody on the wreck, apply it and be absolutely sure that it will meet code and be perfectly safe. No point in getting ripped off by electricians or consulting an inspector. Just ask away on the group and you can be sure of getting a whole lot of accurate and consistent responses, just like when you ask any math question of all the rocket scientists on the wreck.
As Kent Fitzgerald pointed out, the Top 10 Reasons to wire your tablesaw for 240 Volts (or is it 220?) are:
10. You can amaze your friends by claiming it gives you twice as much power. (Of course this isn't true, but they'll mostly just nod solemnly and grunt in approval).
9. And if they fall for that, go on and tell them it's actually four times as much power! Yeah, that's the ticket, because, uh, you know, Power equals Something Squared.
8. To really astound them, mention that it now costs nothing to run, because all the used electricity goes right back to the power company, instead of being wastefully poured into the ground. (Watt-Hours? What-Hours? Whatever!).
7. All the lights in your house will dim equally when the saw stalls.
6. No more sleepless nights worrying about which side of the receptacle was supposed to be neutral.
5. Deters would-be borrowers. Too bad you can't do the same for all your tools. "Sorry, Uncle Chester, I'd love to lend ya some clamps, but all a mine need two hunnerd-n-forty volts".
4. Family members won't use your saw receptacle to plug in the Xmas lights. At least not more than once.
3. Ever notice that the Europeans use 220V for everything? Make the switch, and you just might develop a little continental flair yourself. Vive la difference!
2. That 240V receptacle kinda looks like a cute little face winking at you. If you spend a lot of time in the shop alone, you could give it a name and talk to it sometimes.
And, the Number One Reason to wire your tablesaw for 220 Volts....
1. Your saw will enjoy the benefits of perfectly balanced waves of alternating current, in absolute symmetry with respect to Earth Potential (say, wasn't that a band back when in the 60's?). This will reduce vibration, increase bearing life, equalize your Feng Shui, put some swing in your inner harmony, and prevent demagnetization of your aura.
Sure. PVC is good for up to 600 p.s.i. Your compressor doesn't go that high.
Some people will tell you that OSHA has banned PVC because it's likely to turn to shrapnel if it breaks. That's just a lot of typically stupid government regulation bullshit. OSHA? Screw them. If they had it their way, all workers would wear Kevlar body suits and helmets. CW & Rob Stokes & Victor? They're full of it. Besides, they're still alive, so what are they complaining about? Campbell Hausfeld? They're just trying to support their steel suppliers. PVC pipe manufacturers? They're just trying to cover their legal butt. They prolly also say you can't use their pipe for water.
A lot of guys on the wreck have used PVC and nothing bad has happened to them. After all, I've been smoking since I was twelve years old and it hasn't hurt me. Don't worry, go ahead and save a few bucks.
The rest of us will get to buy your tools real cheap from yer widder lady. Heh, heh!
Take that crowbar to your wallet, you cheapskate. See Crowbar FAQ.
JOAT would be happy to give you free plans. He's always happy to reply to email requests for free plans from folks just like you. Hell, if you're in the neighbourhood, just stop on by and see him. If I can find his phone number, I'll post it to all of Usenet so that you'll be sure to see it.
You don't need plans. Bring your TV into the workshop and just follow Norm as he is doing the work. If you have any clue about woodworking, you should have no problem working as fast as he does.
Watch the NYW on TV. With Norm, you don't need any steenking books. Or get them cheap at the LEE-BRARY.
You could also get the books on this website: http://webpages.charter.net/29Y/woodworking/books/
See #6.3.
Not if you don't want to have face the wrath of a pinko hog-ridin' ex-marine hillbilly writer. Copyright law is really simple: don't you ever dare copy anything from anywhere. Not even the word "the". Period. Just using the cut and paste feature on your computer could land you in deep trouble. Copyright violations take the food out of the mouths of the children of poor little innocent multinational corporations. Besides, you will end up with a thread with over 100 posts full of legalese from a whole bunch of people who really know what they are talking about, just like the electrical threads. Violating copyright laws is just as bad as criticising a certain Soviet Kanuckistani tool pornographer.
Disclaimer: This does not refer to anyone who has ever posted in this newsgroup, whether they are a pinko hog-ridin' ex-marine hillbilly writer or not. It was simply meant to refer to the wrath a copyright violator is likely to face. Note that the words tool review or blasphemous support of Sears tools or Woodcraft were not mentioned, so reference to any particular individual self was not intended. See Disclaimer FAQ.
Here is the invaluable advice provided by the ever helpful wreck.wood regulars. (Courtesy of Deja News)
>>>>>Christine Marie Sorensen wrote: I'm looking for a book or set of plans to build a wood coffin. Can anyone help out?
>>>> Jeff Mayhew wrote: I'll see what I can dig up....
>>> Tom Perigrin wrote: That joke was a grave offense to my ears.
>> Patrick Olguin wrote: Could we please let this thread die and be buried?
> Gary T. wrote: Here's another one for the kill file
Ted Scott wrote: A resurrected thread.
WTF do you want those flying rodents around? Are you batty or something. They'll just give you rabies and other nasty diseases after sucking out all your blood. Besides bats screw all night from 3 AM to daybreak.
Don't bother. Nails and glue are just as good, even just nails. Nobody sees them, and people shouldn't be looking into your drawers. Anyway, people who look into your drawers aren't looking for dovetails. For the price of a good dovetail jig, you can get yourself a compressor and a nailer, just like Norm's, which have many more uses than just making drawer joints. If you're thinking of cutting them by hand, forget it. Think of all the money you'll spend on wasted wood in the four or five years it'll take you to learn. Like I said, get a compressor and a nailer.
Besides just try using a dovetail jig or a dovetail saw to nail a burglar to the floor.
NORM RULES!! Norm bashing is not countenanced in this newsgroup under any circumstances. Norm is perfect and he has the best workshop with all the best tools. He is the greatest woodworker in the whole wide world and in all of history. HE IS NOT TOM SILVA'S WATER BOY!!!
Norm does not make mistakes and does the finest woodworking that is humanly possible. Norm always does everything in the best possible way. He is better than Tage Frid, Frank Klausz, James Krenov, Sam Maloof, Tom Plamann, Ian Kirby and all those other phoneys and rip-off artists who claim they can hand-plane a bench-top to within 1/1000 of an inch, all put together. If enough people built things the way Norm does and bought the same tools he has, the world would be a much better place. Nailers and bisquick joiners make the best joints for attaching wood and cross grain construction is perfect if you use enough brads and biscuits and glue. No need for expensive clamps if you've got a brad nailer. Schlepping glue all over your project with a wet rag saves on finishing. Minwax stain and poly is unquestionably the best finish for any project using any kind of wood. Anybody who thinks different or who dares criticize Norm is just jealous. If you hate him so much, why do you keep watching his show?
As the Pope has infallibility in matters of faith, so has the Plaid One in matters of sawdust. If you don't believe me, you will get flamed and get tons of hate email for your blasphemy. You will be tarred, feathered and run out of town on a rail. Just ask Tom Perigrin. Ignore that JOAT pagan. There is but one woodworking god. Norm is Jewish and a carpenter and his mother was a virgin. 'Nuff said!
Using a dead cat. There are many different methods, but the consensus of this newsgroup is that dead cats work best.
Only Keith goes for pukey ducks. No comment on what Groggy uses, but then he's Strine.
Real men screw in their screws without drilling. Drilling's a waste of time. Better yet, use nails. Even better, use an air nailer.
Sure. Hot melt is great, 'cause you can fix your mistakes easily. Only Lew uses epoxy.
Try hot melt instead. Or you could slather the glue all over your work with a sopping wet rag. Saves on finishing.
Snipe is a bird living in Florida among the ash trees. Very hard to find so it must be an endangered species. Why would you want to eliminate them? Don't you have any respect for wildlife? Doug will lecture you for desecrating the environment.
Here are the main arguments for both sides of the debate:
PRO IMPERIAL:
There is absolutely no question; traditional imperial measurements are far superior for woodworking. Most wreckers use it for very good reasons:
PRO METRIC:
There is absolutely no question; metric measurements are far superior for woodworking. Most woodworkers in the world use it for very good reasons:
Intuitiveness:
1. Imperial is much more intuitive and natural. Feet and inches (thumbs) have been used throughout human history as they are related to human body parts (fingers and feet). As Michelangelo said: man is the measure of all things.
1. Metric is much more intuitive and natural. Humans always use a base 10 system as it is related to human body parts (number of fingers & toes). As Michelangelo said: man is the measure of all things.
Communicating measurements:
2. Imperial is easier to hear and leads to less confusion. Someone calls out a measurement for a piece of wood, & before you notice it, you cut 10mm instead of 10cm.
2. Metric is easier to hear and leads to less confusion. Quickly now, is 19/32" bigger or smaller than 5/8"? On the other hand, it is immediately obvious that 15mm is smaller than 16mm.
Ease of learning:
3. Imperial measurements are easier to learn. You don't have to memorize all those crazy prefixes: femto, nano, micro, milli, centi, deci, deka, hecto, kilo, mega, myria, giga, etc.
3. Metric measurements are easier to learn. You don't have to remember all those crazy measures like inches, hands, feet, cubits, yards, fathoms, rods, cones, chains, furlongs, cables, miles, etc.
Arithmetic:
4. Imperial uses simple fractional arithmetic which we all learned in grade school. Not like metric where you need to know all those prefixes and can easily make a mistake on your calculator & cut something 10 times too big or 10 times too small.
4. Metric uses simple decimal arithmetic where you can use your calculator directly without springing big bucks for one that calculates inches and fractions.
Division:
5. It's a lot easier to divide stuff in imperial measurements. What do you call half a millimeter? Ever try to divide 304.8mm by four? A foot is real easy - 12" divided by four is 3".
5. It's a lot easier to divide stuff in metric measurements. Ever try to divide 39 9/16 inches by four? While 1000mm divided by four readily gives 250mm.
Accuracy:
6. Imperial is more accurate. You can easily go to 1/32 which is more precise than 1mm.
6. Metric is more accurate. You can easily go to 0.5mm which is more precise than 1/32"
The REAL Reason:
7. Metric is a stupid cowardly French system. You don't want to support those smelly unwashed arrogant ingrates, do you? GOD BLESS AMERICA!
7. Inches and feet are a stupid warmongering American imperialist system. The rest of the world and all scientists use the much more rational metric system. It's about time the US gets into the 19th century, never mind the 21st! VIVE LA FRANCE!
This was contributed by Frank Shapiro who is a Canadian engineer from Ottawa, so he should know everything. The reason for this is quite neat, screws are 82 degrees, because they were meant to replace the nail. The old square nails once used as well were not 90 degrees but were indeed on average 82 degrees, and the manufacturer of screws wanted to fill the same hole and as such maintained the angle. Now why were nails 82 well that comes from how they were made, they were cut pieces of metal cut with a chisel and placed in an anvil (for making nails) and the top was hammered to give us the flat nail, and mushroom head. The Anvil had an 82 degree impression for this, although not all nails followed this convention, just the majority. Now why did the anvil have that angle, this goes back to the ancient Greeks, who when making chariots and eventually banding the wheels, were avid smokers, at that time, there were no ashtrays, so the original blacksmiths in those days drilled their anvil and placed an angle on to it to hold there cigarette. In shops where many blacksmiths worked many holes had to be drilled with and angle to keep the cigarette tilted, so they made a neat little drill bit which we call a counter sink. Eventually they the tool wore with time and the hole got smaller. In time the hole no longer held a cigarette, and was then used to drill anvils for making nails. So there you have it, the screw angle is based on the angle required to hold a cigarette.
To saw again, as in re-saw, like when you cut something too short. Jees, newbies ask dumb questions.
Apparently there is a secret reason to use round (or was it square? I forget which.). As the other Randy said, octagonal is best for Canadians, as it is a compromise, eh?
Definitely! This is unquestionably the best deal going anywhere! You get this neat card to put in your wallet, and nifty stickers to put on your tools that identify you as a master carpenter just like Norm. You get to test and review all sorts of tools and keep them after the testing, and you get a subscription for their magazine. By the first year you will have an entire shop full of tools (!!) including a genuine drill index gauge made from indestructible plastic and a 14-in-1 multi-tool constructed out of genuine carbon steel.
Once the magazine arrives you won't need any other reference and not need any more advice from this group (after all I bet most of you are non-members).
The reason is quite simple. It has nothing to do with female pop psychology or all the BS you hear about Mars & Venus. Face the facts: men are from earth, women are from earth - deal with it.
As Max's sister said:
> All the Men-from-Mars here must have fragile egos because I
> haven't heard a major reason women are resistant to let you
> build the new living room set: it will take forever to make,
> it will be built by an amateur, AND LOOK IT.
>
> All you armchair shrinks have gone on about women needing
> affirmation, etc.--did it ever occur to you that she was
> just too nice to say, "Honey, your projects look amateurish
> and cheesy. You should stick to step stools, workbenches,
> and picture frames" hmmm? I doubt it!
>
> Your "insecure wife who needs approval from her friends" isn't
> out to emasculate you or keep up with the Joneses when she
> doesn't share your enthusiasm, it is because you have all the
> taste and style of Norm Abrams. It is because a "Sauder
> particle board piece of junk" from Office Max looks better
> than anything you have made before, and you've given her no
> reason to think that will ever change. It's because it
> doesn't matter if it is a woodworking tour de force of soooo
> much higher quality ("but it's REAL WOOD honey!") it is the
> stylistic equivalent of a leisure suit.
>
> The pop-psych wannabes can project onto the women all you
> want, But that won't change the fact that you're not as good
> as you think you are. Face it if you can, all you Men-from-
> Mars!
>
> Now I'm going to go ask my friends if they think this post is
> OK.
Sandblasting works best and gives you that antique old barn look. Belt sanders work almost as well.
Make a pushstick. See #7.3.
Take a crowbar and force the wallet out of your pocket. Once you've successfully completed that task, use the crowbar to extract a one dollar bill. Hand bill to clerk at hardware store. Wait for change unless you're a Rock-a-fella. See Crowbar FAQ.
If the crowbar trick does not work, get a clean, lint-free rag and soak it in linseed oil. Wring it and bunch it up. Pile some plane shavings around the rag to absorb the excess oil. Then use the fire insurance money to buy tack rags at the hardware store.
Greg Lewin offered the following.
Tung oil was originally made in China by extracting the oils from the tongue of a particular kind of chicken (the Chinese Showy Red, to be exact). Like gunpowder and paper, the Chinese invented this finish long before Europeans were even walking, but the Brits changed the name to "tung" to avoid the obvious negative connotations of animal by-products.
More recently, the Peruvians have imported the Chinese Reds and improved the oil production by crossing the line with a Peruvian chicken (I forget the name), so, like coffee, most of our tung oil comes from South America. Obviously, PETA and Greenpeace and the like have waged a world-wide campaign against using tung oil, which has prompted American manufacturers (who always capitulate to us radical enviro's) to look for other sources. Hence, they've developed linseed oil, which comes from the seed of the linoleum tree.
Rob Stokes added: You forgot to mention that during the migration to South America, the Chinese Showy Red was also inadvertently bred with a Mexican chicken called the Araucana. The Araucana is known for laying eggs of various colors [sic] and is often called the "Easter chicken". On rare occasions, if the tongue oil is extracted from one of these birds where the recessive tonal gene actually surfaces, the result is some beautifully toned raw material. Often the color [sic] needs to be "worked" a bit through a refinement process, but the results can be staggering.
Your best bet is to use a toxic tropical hardwood and do not finish it at all. Old lead paint also works because of its durability. If it has lasted that many years on walls, it will be child resistant.
Lead paint. Adds a nice salty flavour (flavor, Floyd) to the food.
Stain and poly. Paint also works well in hiding the ugly grain. The stuff will turn dark anyway, so no point wasting much time on the finish. Besides, you don't want anybody coming on your furniture, do you? Don't use linseed oil as it will turn your cherry into a blob of cellulose in no time by disintegrating the lignin.
Lighter fluid and a match. Gasoline (petrol, Jeff) will also work.
Belt sand it and paint it, same as anything else.
Pronounced "four slash four". Refers to how many times the wood has been slashed. If it's 5/4, the wood was slashed 4 times out of five attempts. Make sure you pronounce it correctly, otherwise you'll look like a complete dork at the lumberyard.
It's when your foot gets tired and cranky from not having anything interesting to do. No, wait, that's a "bored" foot.
It is important to know what a board foot is so that you don't look like a dork at the lumberyard. It's just a board that's a foot long. Some people give you complicated formulas such as take the length of the board in inches, multiply by 12 and divide by 144. If you actually do the arithmetic, you'll realize they only do this to mystify newbies.
Your best bet is to watch old BBC sitcoms where they use the same acronyms as this group.
See no. 9.3.
Someone so useless as to be incapable of using power tools. They usually end up chopping up their sawhorses and workmates with a skil saw, decide the fault is with the skil saw and pretend to make a virtue of a necessity. Use antique hand planes on unsuitable striped tropical hardwoods when a belt sander would do a much better job in no time at all. See Hand Plane FAQ
Disclaimer: This is not an attack on anyone who has ever posted in this newsgroup, whether they have cut up workmates with a skil saw or not. It is also not meant to imply any thing negative about Skil's or Black & Decker's fine products, or people who make a virtue of a necessity. The word skil saw was used generically, like kleenex, and could refer to any portable circular saw, including those sold by Sears. Notice that the words Zebrawood or shellac were not used, so it is not meant to refer to any particular individual, but rather generally to people who use hand planes on unsuitable wood. See Disclaimer FAQ.
It's a gloat only if you cheat a poor old widder lady out of her rightful inheritance or if you rip off a store by taking advantage of the dumb manager/clerk/cashier's stupidity. Nothing else qualifies, not even Bessey clamps obtained at Sears, regardless of their length.
Don't bother. If it wasn't for people asking and answering the same stupid questions all the time, this newsgroup would die.
The answer is . . . PURPLE.
I didn't ask for help writing this, and nobody did a damn thing to assist me in anyway whatsoever. I stole the idea and some of the text from Mark Lathem who wrote the anti-FAQ for alt.smokers.pipes. I also stole a lot of ideas from other people in wreck.wood. If it was your idea of a joke I stole, too bad, it's mine now. Finders keepers! Of course, 10 minutes after this thing hits wreck.wood I'll be flooded with "helpful suggestions". Thanks for nothing, guys. I know a couple of them are lame, but I don't care.
An earlier version of this anti-faq was graciously made available by Spokeshave (John Gunterman) on his website at
http://www.shavings.net/anti_faq.htm.
The latest version should be available on my website at:
http://www.yukonomics.ca/wooddorking/antifaq.html
Original ignored copyright notice:
Copyright 1998 by Mark Lathem, all rights reserved. You can't copy this thing for any reason. It's mine, mine, mine, mine, mine.
The original alt.smokers.pipes anti-FAQ is available at:
http://www.pipes.org/anti_asp_FAQ.html
Real copyright:
Copyright (c)1998-2004 by Luigi Zanasi all rights reserved. You can't copy this thing for any reason. It's now mine, mine, mine, mine, mine. I stole it fair & square. Neener neener!
And tai fu & Rob Humphreys & Brian (the Ohio skidoo guy), I'm on to you. Expect a visit from the copyright police and a lawsuit any day now.